**Note:
this is not about whether homosexuals should be preachers or should be allowed
to marry or should be allowed to adopt or should have their names posted in the newspaper so that
they can be publicly shamed by their country or should be served by any and every florist.
This
is about how Christians are failing to love this group of people well, and
it needs to change.
***********************************************************
I
think I'd be more indignant towards the people who call homosexuals "disgusting"
while signing bills to incarcerate them for life in the country
next door if I couldn't remember a time when I used the exact same descriptor
to encapsulate this entire group of people.
It
hurts so much to remember, but homosexuality used to make me cringe too.
You can blame the media or the "liberals" or higher education or
whatever you want for why it's now only these memories that make me cringe; or
I can save you the speculation and tell you why. It's because now
I have the privilege of actually knowing and loving people who are gay. And, I
also think I know Jesus a little bit better than I did before. But ultimately,
it's because He supernaturally changed my heart because I was wrong--so
wrong.
When
I was a teenager growing up in a conservative Georgia neighborhood, the only
surefire way to prevent anyone from thinking you yourself are gay (which was
the most horrible thing imaginable at that time, in our little world) was to be
dramatically disgusted by it. It wasn't that difficult. I was disgusted
by it in many ways and I was horrified at the thought of anyone thinking it of
me.
I
remember well the girls we whispered about in the bathrooms and the boys whose
high pitched voices we didn't believe when they shouted "I am NOT
gay!" to the 7th grade taunters who sat behind them in class. As long
as I stayed on the side of the predators and not the victims, I felt safe.
Sometimes all it took was a quick smile at a joke or silence when people were
being treated like trash right in front of my eyes. Other times it meant
huddling in tight and listening while the
obviously-heterosexual-girl-who-had-a-boyfriend dished about her softball
teammates.
I
often stood up for people being made fun of and tried my best to keep company
with those who didn't thrive off of gossip and tearing others down.
But there was something that silenced me when it came to people being
mistreated because some 13 year old somewhere thought they might be attracted
to their own gender -- I was a Christian and people knew it. In my mind and
most of the minds I was surrounded by, Christians were known to be against
homosexuality. If anyone were to stand up for them, let it be others who
were gay or at least people who didn't consider the Bible their "rule book
for life." Being disgusted by homosexuality, and thus homosexuals, seemed
to be a requirement of Christianity.
That
was then, but this is now. I have seen a few changes for the better since then,
but I'd still say we have a freaking ugly reputation among homosexuals and I
believe the blame lands on us for that. I blame myself and I blame the rest of
us who have either silently looked on as the stones are thrown or have been the
ones hurling them at that scary, sinful person whom we don't understand--the
person whose sin is easier to point out than the ones that are secretly rotting
our own hearts.
Even
for those of us who try earnestly to ascribe to the "Love the sinner, hate
the sin" adage -- I would say it is not really working for us. Sin is
disgusting and ugly and messy and it deserves our hatred, but I have plenty of
sin in myself to hate before I start making it my duty to hate your specific
sins. And I like the way Micah J. Murray reminds us that Jesus' business card
didn't read : "Jesus Christ. Hater of sin, lover of sinners."
"They say Jesus was a friend of sinners, but he didn't describe himself that way. His motto wasn't "eating and drinking with prostitutes and tax collectors." Those were the labels used by the religious community, by the disapproving onlookers. What's amazing about Jesus is that when he hung out with sinners, he didn't act like they were sinners. They weren't a "project," a "mission field." They were his friends. People with names. Defined as beloved children of the Creator, not defined by their sins. Icons of God's image. His brothers and sisters."
--Micah J. Murray
As
I said before, being on a similar page with Musseveni is unfortunately not
a distant memory for me--it is a much more recent recollection than I like
to admit. But thankfully there is grace for that, too. There is grace for
my Kenyan friends who think Musseveni is a hero and there is grace for
Musseveni himself. For those of you who think homosexuality is
"disgusting" (though you most likely have learned better than to say
it with those words if you live in the US), there is grace for you. I know
because I was there a few years ago and there was and is grace for me.
The
more I get to know Jesus and see the way He lived, the more I want to busy
myself with loving people--all people. The ones, like me, who have
debilitatingly prideful hearts that are fairly easy to hide and the ones whose
sin is on display and on whom we can easily place the one-size-fits-all bumper
sticker of "I love you, but I hate your sin." Does that really work
for anyone? It never worked for me.
A
few years back, I finally grew tired of making it my job to hate someone else's
sin, especially my friends. So I simply asked Jesus to give me his heart for
other people, all types of people who struggle with all different types of
things. He did it. He still does it, and I am forever grateful.
So
yes, I am absolutely heartbroken about how people are being treated. I have
cried tears over the new legislation in Uganda and have felt
genuine anger about the ways I believe we are getting it so, so wrong. But I
believe it is God's grace that I can still remember when I was on the other
side of that line drawn in the sand. I am still somewhat new to feeling
overcome with grief that these precious brothers and sisters are
being persecuted by us--the ones who are absolutely, undeniably called
to love them.
My repentant tears
have begun to run dry as He allows me to have real relationships with real
people who struggle with real sin, just like me. Now instead of throwing hate
at homosexuals, you are throwing hate at my friends. In the name of the same
Jesus I call my own. It is confusing to them and it is confusing to me and
I truly think Jesus is shaking His head at how we are getting it
wrong, like we are prone to do. If you think you are "with" God
as you hurl hate on anyone in His name (...even
murderers, child abusers, traffickers, and rapists), I believe you are gravely
mistaken.
The
good news? There is grace. It's never too late to stop hating and start
loving…Jesus is fully capable of changing hearts and he proved that to
me personally. Also in my experience, the gay community
is pretty darn good at forgiving us who have at one time treated them
like they are somehow less worthy of love than anyone else.
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." -- Matthew 22:36-40
