Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Oops... saw this coming!

Gosh... school stinks right now. It it the end of the semester and that means an unpleasant time for procrastinators like myself! Everything I have been putting off, putting off, putting off is HERE all of a sudden! Yikes... so, spending noon-3am studying/working and still not feeling like I've even put a dent in all my work (that is due tomorrow, mind you) makes me wish I was in Kenya already. Once all of my work is turned in, I will return back to the "savoring every last minute with friends/family/Athens/a shower/reliable electricity/a car/etc."

Things I miss and cannot wait for:

-the simplicity of having just the basics and being ok with that
-going to bed when the sun goes down and waking up when the rooster on my window sill wakes up (with the sun)
-those beautiful smiles that shine so bright, even without the help of dentists/orthodontists
-the worship....there is absolutely nothing like it in the world.
-smiles through tears
-teaching the kids silly "American games"
-being made fun of for my, apparently awful, Kikuyu pronunciation
-playing soccer in a muddy field, in the rain, shoeless, and with a ball made out of plastic bags(trash) bound with rubber bands
-laughing non-stop
-"I want... I want..." "My mother and your mother...." "1,2, make a circle..." "mr willy willy willy...." games/dances with Havilla/Daraja friends!
-the hospitality
-the excitement of taking/being in pictures and then seeing yourself on the screen
-chipati, chai, madazis
-chopping up kale until my hands are blistered
-picking potatoes out of the field...
-tucking the kids in at night!
-seeing the kids RUN home from school for lunch... and RUN back just in the knick of time for more class
-"try and fail, but never fail to try again" being repeated every time someone gives a wrong answer
-small group
-tons of other things i'll list later :)


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

opened doors

WOW... I just cannot get over how good God is and has been and will always be. Even the times in the recent past when I have been tempted to believe otherwise, He has shown me (later) that His will IS perfect, good, and pleasing and even in those times I cannot understand what in the world He's thinking, He eventually humbles me into oblivion and reminds me that He is sovereign and I end up begging forgiveness for NOT believing it in the first place.

I am just thinking about all of the doors that He has opened through something that made me feel like all of the doors had been slammed in my face. I have been able to spend a month of my summer in AFRICA(which easily includes the top 10 best times of my life) instead of doing summer classes, able to move into a new apartment and live with some great girls that I otherwise would never have known, able to spend another semester learning/fellowshiping with RUF, able to spend more time in the same city as Ben, one more year to spend growing and learning before entering the 'work world', possibly a whole semester spent back in Africa, more great friendships, more sense of belonging in Athens,etc. etc. So, when I thought the best thing for me was to spend this year at MCG, God said "not so much... I've got different plans" and He did and they are so much better than I could have ever imagined. I am blown away.

He is just great and I am loving to watch His plan for my life unfold... I want to be 100% HIS to use wherever, whenever, and however He sees fit. Hold me to that!

"Contentment is essentially accepting from God's hands whatever he sends because we know that HE is GOOD and therefore it is good." JI Packer

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

"The more I seek You..."

I missed RUF tonight so I was looking through my itunes for some good songs to worship with in between all of the homework I am doing tonight. I came upon "The More I Seek You", a song I have heard a couple of times but never in a situation where I have actually listened to the lyrics. I just downloaded it the other day because I love the voice of the girl singing it. Anyway, I have had it on repeat for about an hour :) If you don't know the song... it has very simple words:

the more I seek You
the more I find You
the more I find You
the more I love You

The words struck me(and continue striking me :) so strongly... in a very humbling way. Basically, I find myself wondering why I am not finding Him in every single facet of life and it all goes back to my unwillingness to constantly, actively, diligently SEEK Him... I am content with knowing the basics of His character. I know this is corny, but I feel like I am just looking for the "cliff notes version" of His Word instead of utilizing every word of it. I find myself satisfied with where I am and honestly, I think being satisfied with mediocrity is one of the worst things EVER! That being said, I am so thankful that He brings this to my attention every so often... it reminds me how much I need Him. But seriously... those lyrics! So simple... but so true. Obviously, the more I seek him, the more I will find Him... and the more I find Him, the more I know about Him, the more I see His hand in every little detail, the more I LOVE Him! I mean, how could my love for Him not increase when I know how ridiculously incredible He is!?!

Anyway, the rest of the song goes on to say:

I wanna sit at Your feet
drink from the cup in Your hands
Lay back against You and breathe
feel Your heart beat

This love is so deep
it's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
it's overwhelming

Do you ever feel guilty singing certain words to songs because you realize you aren't really representing the type of love the words portray?? Maybe not. Or that question might not have made sense... but, I guess I just ask myself "Do you really want to know Him that well?? and if so, why are you not acting like it? Why are you not seeking Him with every ounce of who you are?" I DO want to know everything about Him, but I just forget that sometimes!!

Okay, I guess that is enough for tonight....!! Hopefully, for y'all's sake, my future posts will be more legible and even funny possibly?? We'll see :)