Sunday, January 17, 2010

40 days...

People keep asking me if I am afraid. . . .

This question usually follows a brief description of my plans for Kenya and my ignorance of martial artistry. I usually say 'no' because my response is intended to answer their question of the type of fear that relates to safety, health, or general functionality. My answer is valid--I am not afraid of disease, violence, rape, or death in Kenya. Jesus tells us not to be afraid of the things that can kill the body--but to fear the One who could destroy both body and soul (Matthew 10). That is a tall order. To not fear any one or any thing on this earth, but to fear God alone. We're told in 1 John that there is no fear in love--that Perfect Love casts out fear. There seems to be no plausible explanation for an absence of fear of these potential physical endangerments. It is supernatural. His perfect, all encompassing love absolutely is responsible for casting out my fear of the things that could harm my body. Love is not cautious, it's extravagant...

All that to say, I would be lying if I said I have no fears about moving to Kenya. The things I fear are hard to even speak of because they show my disbelief that He is who He says He is. Naming our fears begins to dismantle them and they are overridden with the freedom-invoking truth of our Savior. As I have been presenting them to Him, I have found that every single one of them is irrational. All of the things I fear imply that I am MORE than I am and He is LESS than He is. Not sure if that makes sense... I have just noticed that when I focus on His intrinsic nature and the attributes that define His brilliant character, my fears prove to be contradictory and unfounded. This is beautiful... I think this is the Perfect Love that when you are looking it in the face and reveling in it's goodness, the fears you are holding onto are forced out of your hands.

Anyway, I meant this to be a short post. Just wanted to clarify that I am not devoid of fear but must rejoice that He has cast away the fears of my body being harmed. His perfect love that casts out fear is REAL and as I grow closer and closer to Him, the power of this fear-casting Love becomes undeniable. I trust Him with my body (today), and I am working on trusting Him with my heart... pretty sure I will be bringing my fears to His feet for the rest of my life, but sooner and sooner and with a less tight grip each time is my prayer.